Feminism, Fashion and the Millenials

The probably best-selling item (at an eye watering price) of Maria Grazia Chiuri’s Spring/Summer 2017 Collection at Dior was a plain white loose fit t-shirt bearing in simple black letters the slogan We Should All Be Feminists. The fact that it was teamed with a sheer embroidered skirt and white ribbed granny panties (and not baggy trousers for instance) made it cool, glamorous and a simple stroke of genius. The message of equality and female empowerment was clear. I hope at least some of the fashionistas who bought this shirt knew that part of the proceeds went to Rihanna’s The Clara Lionel Foundation and perhaps even read Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s book-length essay on feminism the title of which is printed on the t-shirt (and the price of which is about 1 per cent. thereof).

To me, feminism is about justice. I became a lawyer because I believe in justice. Laws are necessary to protect women and to give them what is rightfully theirs. The right to vote and be a politician. The right to drive a car. The right to receive an education, to work, to acquire and hold property, to have children, to love and marry whomever they choose. The right to be treated fairly, equally and with respect. But those laws are only necessary when such rights are denied. Women had to revolt and to fight for their rights and for recognition, often at a high price and always against prejudice. Think of the suffragettes. Leading female politicians - Aunt San Suu Kyi, Angela Merkel, Theresa May. Brave women in Saudi Arabia. Those who started the #timesup and #metoo movements.

Of my two daughters, one was born just before the turn of the millennium, the other one just after. When I ask them about feminism they look at me earnestly, nod and say well yes of course there should be no difference between men and women and I should be able to live my life the way I choose. For them it is a given fact that they should have, and to a large extent have, all the rights that I described above.

But it’s not only about politics. Feminism starts at home.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all in favour of making your partner her or his favourite drink and a giving her or him a neck massage. I think it is a gesture of love and care of which you can’t show too much in a healthy relationship. But it shouldn’t be expected because you are the only woman in the relationship or the one who earns less money. In fact, nothing should be expected from you in a relationship just because you are the man or the woman. But in reality, people of my generation have such expectations - at least in heterosexual relationships that I have seen, and had, myself. Are these relationships happy? Divorce statistics speak for themselves. I read somewhere the average relationship now only lasts about three years. I won’t venture any further theory on why that may be so.

Let me just say, if you are truer to yourself you will be happier. If in that state of being true to yourself you meet someone with whom you connect on a deep level, and both of you remain true to who each of you is, you have the best chances of sharing a happy journey.